Though my soul may set in darkness tonight, i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night

The problem with being a control freak in a relationship is that sometimes you forget that there are two people involved – your partner and you. So no matter how much you think you’ve perfected your side of the relationship, no one else can perfect the matching side but your partner. It’s almost as if you’re a rowing a boat, like your life depended upon it in the vast ocean to meet your lover halfway, except you’re not sure that when you get halfway, that he’d be there in his silly boat, with worn out arms and oars waiting for your arrival. But when you do get there, what happens when you realize you’re alone, in your damn boat with nothing but some packed sandwiches. I mean sure, you can wait around for a little while. Tides get a little crazy sometimes so people can get held up. The control freak however functions differently. The control freak would probably tell herself something like how she’s probably not at the half way mark and continue to row on further. And you wouldn’t really be surprised when you find her on the other side of the ocean searching for her partner who for some reason either didn’t get on the boat or died at sea. She hopes it’s the latter.

I’ve always thought my biggest fear being in love is having your partner wake up one day deciding he loves you less or God forbid doesn’t love you enough to want to be with you anymore. I’ve given little consideration to the possibility of him waking up one day to realize he might love someone else. And because it’s not something I’ve thought about, I sadly have no answers to the many questions I have been posing myself.

Anyhow, all I really want to do right now is pack my bags and leave for Tekapo and bask in the wonders of their starlight reserve.


~ by icingontop on February 10, 2009.

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